The original Thunderbirds series debuted in 1965, and to celebrate the anniversary we’ve decided to review the 2004 remake of the same name. Does it live up to the iconic original, or does it fall flat?
Based on the British science-fiction television series – created by Gerry and Sylvia Anderson – the Thunderbirds movie very loosely follows the exploits of International Rescue (IR), a life-saving organisation headed by ex-astronaut Jeff Tracy and his five sons.
The plot follows the Hood (Ben Kingsley) who traps IR leader Jeff Tracy (Bill Paxton), and four of his sons on board the damaged Thunderbird Five in space. His youngest son, Alan, and his friends are left to save the day and stop the hood.
Let me begin by saying this film is hilarious – but that’s a bad thing. Thunderbirds is so bad that it’s funny. The first ten minutes of the film were action-packed and made you think that this could be a cool action film – maybe with a bit of satire thrown in. As soon as the story shifts to Alan, the film loses all of its composure.
Alan (Brady Corbet) is introduced at boarding school as a brat who fits all the cliché tropes. He’s a flat character that just complains about everything – despite being at a prestigious school and the son of one of the wealthiest men in the world. His best friend is even worse, Fermat (Soren Fulton), as he is the classic dorky genius, seen in every kid’s movie. We are introduced to a potential bully to the two, but the character is given a few minutes on screen before disappearing, never to be seen again…
There is ten minutes of a teen school drama, before the film changes tone again to fit a Nickelodeon-style kids’ film. That’s one of the big problems with the film, is that it struggles to find a genre to stick with. It feels like you are watching a collection of amateur short films compiled into a feature-length movie. The only way to get through it is to accept this bizarre reality and laugh.
If you think the original Harry Potter had bad child actors, then you clearly haven’t seen this film. The three leads (Alan, Fermat and Tin-Tin played by Vaness Hudgens) are so terrible they make Tommy Wiseau seem like Daniel Day-Lewis. Unfortunately, the bad acting doesn’t stop there. Ben Kingsley channels his worst performance ever – think Jeremy Irons in Dungeons & Dragons.
He is given a badass opening as he is shrouded in darkness in a submarine, but it’s downhill from there. The Hood is acted like a pantomime villain, it’s like you’re waiting for the audience to boo him and kick him off stage.
The only characters that are at all decent are Lady Penelope (Sophia Myles), Parker (Ron Cook) and Jeff Tracy. They at least feel close to their characterisation from the original show and demonstrate both comedy and seriousness when it’s needed. Sadly, they aren’t in the film for long but make a strong impact when they feature. I don’t even want to talk about how they butchered Brains (Anthony Edwards) and made him …
I bet you’re wondering how they afforded the film. They definitely do not hide the shameless advertising from Ford, but it becomes a game of spot the product placement. What should sponsor a natural disaster at an oil rig? Why, Ford of course!
I bet you didn’t know that almost all the cars in the world were made by Ford. The film should’ve been named Forderbirds, because it represents the brand more than the iconic Thunderbirds.
Whilst the film is terrible, it has some nice little references to the show. Pod vehicles are shown, and the actual Thunderbird vehicles are designed well. Honestly, if the film had a better script, better actors and better effects, it could’ve been an amazing adaptation. Admittedly, whilst the original TV show had marionette puppetry, the characters still had more emotion and depth than the humans actors in the movie.
You’ll be relieved when you hear the catchy Busted song through the credits as then you know it’s over. I highly recommend watching this film with a drink of choice, and drink every time you see a Ford logo. It’ll make the film go a lot quicker and provide you with some much-needed entertainment.
By Charlie Vogelsang
Feature image: Just Watch