After being appointed the Social & Wellbeing officer for Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, Tom Beckett wants to do things differently, as he aims to make drastic changes to increase support and awareness for mental health suffers in his society.
As soon as Tom walks into the room there’s a great warmth to his personality. It’s easy to imagine that anyone needing his help would know they’ve found someone they can trust. But why does this 25-year-old, who is in his third year, want to take on a role that demands so much responsibility, especially during the most crucial year of his university life? Tom smiles.
“There have been social and wellbeing officers before me, but I think their main aim was just to get everyone out and drunk.
“There were certain things within the club that I didn’t agree with, such as initiations, but I’m glad that the university has stepped in and told clubs if there are initiations then the club will be banned, which is great because that’s not what BJJ is about. At BJJ we feel like a family so when we have new members we’ll make sure that everyone knows we’re there for them and if anyone is having issues, whether that’s in the club, on their course or just in their personal life we’re all going to be there for each other.”
It was refreshing to hear a committee member have such strong views about the welfare of his members, that initiations are outdated and insensitive, and that the uni was fighting this tradition.
“I feel I have a responsibility to be there for our members, so in class, I’ll look for people who maybe aren’t attending classes regularly when they had been before and then it’s just about checking up on them and making sure they’re okay. After class, I’ll message them or politely ask if they want a chat in private.
“I like to draw from my own experiences, and I choose to speak to people in the way I would want to be spoken to myself.I think that’s a benefit of being an older student as I have more life experience to draw from that maybe your average student doesn’t and this allows me to take a step back and check everyone’s okay, which was lacking in my society before.”
Tom pauses.
“I mentioned my own experiences before I started Jiu-jitsu I just felt like an empty shell, I didn’t like anything about myself and I didn’t think I was worthy or deserving of anything.
“I got to uni and just thought I’d got lucky and I found it really hard to be happy with myself.
It was a shock that Tom, who now seemingly oozes confidence, was this badly affected by mental health issues. It highlights the importance of talking to your friends as you just never know what might be going on in their head.
“I struggled for a time with my weight and I felt depressed and anxiety was starting to creep in as well. Whenever I entered a room and I’d instantly lose my breath as I felt like everyone was staring at me, I just felt terrible in myself.
“I played rugby and football before BJJ and I think although the active part of the sport helped my mental health, I was still the outcast in the changing rooms which led to bullying.”
It was noticeable that Tom still felt somewhat affected by his experiences, but it was inspiring to see him discuss the problems he’s had and how this helps him help others though sport.
“Since joining BJJ it’s helped me in so many ways, the only way I can describe how Jiu-jitsu helps me is to look at as though it’s a mental game of chess; it gets you thinking and then the endorphins get going along with the oxytocin – these are known as the ‘happy chemicals’ in your brain and it made me feel good.
“I started losing weight through it which in turn helped with my insecurities so I started feeling happy about the way I looked at myself, which was amazing because I genuinely couldn’t remember the last time, I felt truly happy.
Sport’s healing qualities are well documented, but it was fascinating to hear that a couple hours of exercise a week can lead to such an improvement in Tom’s anxiety levels.
“I mentioned the family aspect earlier, being in BJJ made me feel like I was a part of something, which before had been so difficult for me as I’d always been worried if people didn’t like me or they just didn’t like me in the same way that I liked them.
“Since joining, all of that stopped and it gave me goals to achieve; in my first competition, I got beaten, badly,” Tom laughs. “But it was fine, I felt fine with that, I felt okay with myself I just looked towards the next competition and thought ‘right, next time I’m at least going to win a medal’, and I did, I won two silvers.
“Unlike the other team sports, I mentioned, although you represent your club, it’s not a team reliant sport, so if you have a bad fight or a bad event it’s okay.”
Tom’s philosophy, that everyone should feel proud of their performance no matter the result, is extremely admirable. It surely takes an enormous amount of courage to walk onto the mats and face a fellow competitor.
“Going forward, I’d like to see the uni set up workshops for students, so they know how to best approach certain circumstances. I think at the moment it’s implied that you should take it on yourself to check if your members are okay.
“Within the club, I’m looking to organise sober socials, which I know a lot of clubs don’t currently do. It’s important because students who don’t drink don’t have to miss out, which can lead to members feeling isolated.”
He concluded: “To improve the overall care in university teams for mental health all it would take is for the uni to step in offer some help as this is a demanding role that requires care.”
This was an eye-opening discussion that reveals the great expectations and responsibility hoisted on the shoulders of committee members like Tom.
There’s a strong base which has been built by the members themselves but it’s hard thinking there are members in other societies who don’t have someone as experienced as Tom and it’s these people who go under the radar.
Hopefully this has opened the discussion on mental health and where we go from here.
By Elliot Ball
Photo credit: Tom Beckett